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Wednesday, 27 March 2013

'What gets you hopping??

Do you ever feel that life is... 
'one step forward and two steps back'?
I know I have.
So, what did you do next?
Did you continue or give up? I guess most of us have done both at some time or other.
What made you choose to do so, the times you went forward? Was it a necessity or simply a mindset?

What I mean is...we have all heard the analogy, 'is the glass half full or half empty'?

Studies show that people that have more success, have so, primarily because of their mind frame.In other words, they look at the world in a positive way, presuming that they will always get where they are going eventually. It's just about perseverance, determination and an end goal in mind.

I was watching a documentary lately, feeling a little down in the dumps, when I received some much needed inspiration to continue with my goal, from the most unlikely little creatures.
Little creatures that believe in never giving up, that believe every set back just gets you that little bit closer. That instead of looking at it as the 'glass half empty' or 'one step forward, two steps back', they instead see it a different way.
They choose to see it as 'one step back, two steps forward'.
And guess what?.... It works!
They eventually get to their desired destination.
I choose to now believe this also....just like those incredibly spirited Rock-hopper Penguins.
And eventually they do get to the top (-:
Maybe, we all need a little bit of 'rock-hopper' inspiration sometimes.....I know I did.
So.....'Hop' on!
Danielle x

If you still need a little more inspiration or help contact me at  for a FREE first consultation.
Master Practitioner in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)

Thursday, 28 February 2013

'There is no fixed physical reality, 
no single perception of the world, 
just numerous ways of interpreting world views 
as dictated by one's nervous system 
and the specific environment of our planetary existence.'

Deepak Chopra

Today I am feeling somewhat down.
Time for a big dose of Nlp, positive thinking and a fresh perspective..... (-:

Yesterday, I had a bizarre experience, that clearly emphasized the above quote by Deepak,  
and another one which I am just about to remind you of......... 'The Map is not the Territory.'
What does this mean exactly? 
Well, it means that what we always perceive or view as the truth, fact or whatever you may call it,
is not always actually the way it is.
What we see is what we see, but not necessarily the reality. 
What I mean is, a map is simply a tool, that may display a territory in a similar structure so that it allows us to traverse the land, but our perception of this map can never equal the territory, but only our version of it, our own internal 'map'.

Let me elaborate and give you my example, 
without further ado.

Yesterday I had a ridiculous and upsetting rant (through text) with a very good, long time friend.
For some strange reason she got it in her head that I had tried to keep some personal information from her and she was upset. The conversation got progressively worse as I tried to explain I just never thought of it, she suggested I was being secretive and so I retorted she was being paranoid. We both got further upset and it carried on into an irrational, incomprehensible, impossible tit for tat.

I elaborated that it was not a big deal for me, that it had not been something important to tell.
She went on to tell me that I never tell her things until after, re suggesting I was being secretive.
She even said her partner had 'observed' this.

Well, after numerous texts, I gave up, thinking we had better sleep on it, before ruining a life time friendship. 
This is the sum of what I think;

* We spoke through texts. That in itself will tell a LOT! Don't you think?
In NLP one of the first things we learn is how people communicate and how we evaluate and discern what they are saying to us. 
When we communicate, the actual words that we use make up ONLY about 10% of the process. 
The rest is generally done through physical actions, posture, gesticulations, facial expressions and so forth.
So, the point well could we have actually been communicating??  
On top of that 1st crucial error, we all tend to often follow some other silly ingrained patterns.....

* We see a reflection of our own fears.
The boy who fears dogs might believe that anything that moves is a dog, for a moment or two before he realizes that its something else. This perception error often happens when people interact with each other also. Those who were cheated on  before often analyze and scrutinize peoples words and phrases looking to catch them out and prove their hunch correct. Those who were abused might find it hard to let down their defenses and trust again fearing the same will happen. Those who were abandoned by their parents may feel they are not good enough and that no one will stay with them.
Unfortunately, we constantly look to reinforce our beliefs and justify our fears, unfortunately often to our detriment
  • We all  have different beliefs. Our individual belief system, based on all our history, governs the way we see reality. If, for example, you believe that all people are selfish, then you will interpret their actions in a way that proves this fact true. If you believe that rich people are arrogant then you will always see them that way, not because they are,  but because your perception of reality will be biased towards your beliefs. Beliefs come from past experiences and that's why the environment the person grows in determines the way he sees the world to a great extent. Something that to me may not seem very relevant or important might be a huge big deal to my friend, based on our corresponding past experiences.
  • We have different identities: I love to listen to Italian music while I paint or write, it inspires me and fills me with passion. But another friend of mine covers her ears and whines, as though I am prodding hot pokers in her ears! I love this type of music because it resonates with my inner world and my past history. It is what I know and what I feel familiar with, and that brings me comfort and pleasure.I can relate to the Italian singer (being half Italian) and it reminds me of my childhood. We all see the world based on our own identities, and as a result one person can find a certain thing beautiful while the other person can find it painful.

So, how do we see reality correctly then?

    Whenever you believe that people are not being nice to you or you are having a disagreement,
    * Remind yourself that there is a great possibility that one of you are not seeing reality correctly.
    more on this here;
    * Look at things through their eyes.
    * See it through their perspective.
    * Try and relate to their past history so as to get a feel of what angle they are looking at it from.
    * Remember this is normal within us all so be forgiving, to both others and yourself.
    * Become aware of your own thought patterns and listen to your own internal dialogue.
    * Remember...... 'The map is not the Territory.' 
    Read this article for more on this also,
      For more on how to look at things through a new perspective and improve your relationships,
    contact me today at
    Skype sessions available worldwide.  
    (1st Skype consultation FREE)
    But for now I am going to go chat to my friend,
    Danielle x 
    Master Neuro Linguistic Programmer & Coach.
    00353-(0)86 3845299

    Sunday, 9 December 2012

    What do YOU do that you are not even aware of...yet?

    A work colleague once said to me...
    'Danielle, you are your own worst enemy.'

    I was completely shocked and genuinely baffled by why she might think that.
    Sure....I was what I liked to call ....'polite', 'realistic' and 'self competitive' - whatever that meant...?
    I dismissed the remark, with my usual apology, for what...I'm not entirely sure, and backed out,
    closing the door to the little office, with a guilty demeanor.  

    But I had not closed the door to the memory of her flippant, yet well meaning remark. 
    The door to my neural pathways had been opened and the wheels churned around in my head,
    over and over like rehashed dough in a bocketty old bread mixer.

    No one had ever said this to me before. Why would she say such a thing?
    My first reaction was one of rising indignation. 
    Who did she think she was? Was it not obvious I was just being polite?? 
    Was she so perfect, that she thought she could just say something like that to me so bluntly?

    And yet......I started to question my flushed emotions. She had triggered a nerve.
    Maybe, just maybe she had a point.

    I had been in the business of reading people long enough to know there is always some truth in something one takes the time to say. 
    I had often had to address issues and habits with people they were unaware they actually had. 
    And it always surprised me that they never realized they did these things and often were so utterly shocked, indignant and completely un-receptive to my attempts to convince them otherwise. 

    Was I going to be one of them?
    Nope. I was good at listening and reading between the lines or straight at them as in this case!

    This girl was a very deep thinker, analytical and very smart albeit sometimes maybe a little blunt. 
    Although very well meaning she didn't mince her words,  and so I started to think....
    maybe, just maybe she had a point, maybe because...she had simply witnessed it!

    I realized then very quickly, (I was very open to change at the time and working enthusiastically on my personal development) that she was completely correct of course.

    I started to take note of how often I would.....
    criticize myself out loud or internally, 
    apologize for something utterly unnecessary,
    tut at myself, 
    or even simply throw my eyes to heaven.
    I became aware of the times I did it. 
    I didn't judge or criticize myself even further for doing it, 
    I just simply became aware of it. 
    My mind had expanded. New pathways were being opened. 
    I was discovering new things FAST!

    Shortly after with the help of my newly discovered NLP techniques, I worked on silencing my self-critical inner voice. 
    Six months later, people started to say I had changed. 
    Something in me was now very different.

    I would simply smile. 
    Yes, it was.
    For my work colleague... Thank you

    For more read here..

    Danielle Serpico
    NLP Life Master Practitioner
    'We have to learn to be our own best friends, 
    because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.' 
    Roderick Thorp.
    If you want to learn how to silence YOUR Critical Inner Voice
    enroll NOW on my NEW 'Be nice or be silent' Workshop,
    coming to Dublin this summer (-:
    email me TODAY for a place at

    Sunday, 2 December 2012

    The first 'step' on your journey...

    How do you know HOW to take the first step?..
    Sometimes our goals and aspirations seem so far away and daunting that we end up never actually getting started. It all just seems too much...too distant...too impossible.

    Focusing on your goals, is of course, a very rewarding and pragmatic exercise, as I have said many times. If you don't know your end destination then how do you plan to get there?

    Here is more on this...

    For now let's re-read the previous sentence.
    If you don't know your end destination then.... 
    how do you PLAN to get there??

    Exactly - YOU NEED TO PLAN!
    And planning can be a lot easier then you think.
    Break it into chunks, one step at a time.....
    To get to x ....I need to do Y first ....and so on.

    I grew up in Rome and as a little girl the Starlings above my head, swooped and swayed in a magnificent wave above my head, as I giggled delightedly at their wonderful performance.

    But I never questioned how did they manage to stay so perfectly in sync..... but many scientists did.

    They discovered that instead of prior belief that they all interacted with each other, they each actually kept track of only seven of their feathery friends, thus being much easier to keep up with.
    They naturally, instinctively knew that a smaller number was easier to manage, taking in the big picture would probably prove a little too overwhelming.

    Maybe, we can do the same?

    When we are faced with a seemingly impossible task or we want to reach out and grab hold of those dreams, then simply break it down, into small manageable steps, that individually seem more achievable.

    Start with those little steps and the magnificence will follow....

    Enjoy the flight.....
    Danielle x
    Your Mind Coach

    P.S: Do you know the 10 Most Common Mistakes people make that sabotage their goals???
    I will reveal all and how NOT to fall into these traps & loops
    on My 'Life Changing' Weekend RETREAT Workshop CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE! (in  Wexford this January)!
    If you want to make the best New Year plan and have a wonderful Christmas in the knowledge that things are about to get so much better....
    then email me NOW !!!

    You will truly LOVE your decision (-:

    Friday, 16 November 2012

    The map is not the territory....

    Plato used to say... 
    'The objects we perceive are not the ultimate reality, but more like a shadow of reality.' 
    He explained this in the following analogy, 'The Cave'.

    A group of people, living in an underground cave since they were born, are forced to sit with their backs to the entrance. All they can see is the far wall of the cave. In the mouth of the cave is a large fire, and between the fire and the people’s back parade various creatures, whose shadows are cast by the fire on to the cave wall. 

    The prisoners in the cave cannot turn their heads to see the creatures, all they can see are the flickering shadows on the wall in front of them. Since this is all they have ever seen since the day they were born, they presume these shadows are all there is.

    Then, one of the prisoners manages to free himself and, looking around, realizes that everything he took to be reality up to now... is but a shadow. 
    Outside he finds the true world of color and three-dimensional forms! 

    Overjoyed with his discovery, he returns to the group to tell them the wonderful news. But try as he might, he cannot convince them that everything they see are but flickering shadows of the "real world". In the end the other prisoners kill him rather than accept such a nonsensical notion.'

    What this means is, that our perception of reality is not reality itself 
    but our own version of it, or our "map".

    No two people will have entirely the same 'map'. While, most of us have similar neurological structure, it functions differently in each of us. We all use what is called are Subnomalities or our 'senses'. These are made up of Visual (Sight), Auditory (Sound), Kinestetic (Touch & feeling), Gustatory (Taste), and Au-factory (Smell). We use a combination of these senses and often more of our preferred ones, to come to our conclusions of things.

    This can be the basis for many of the problems we encounter in our daily lives, when we presume to 'know' something is 'as it is', or trying to impose our 'map' onto another person. 
    Learning to recognize the structure of another person's map allows us to more accurately 
    "see the world though their eyes" and therefore be able to understand and relate to others on a deeper level.

    Remembering this can help us change our old beliefs, therefore often changing our old habits. 

    Change your way of thinking and you will change your actions.
    Always remember 
    'The map is not the territory' 
    and your discoveries will be enlightening.

    Below is a really interesting article with a cool demonstration on how we sometimes see things differently then the actual reality...

    If you want to understand more how the mind works and the link between the conscious and subconscious then lets look at the process in more depth.....(-:

    When you develop a thought, it is firstly analyzed by the conscious mind which then sends electro-chemicals to the brain. As the electro-chemicals travel through the brain, neural pathways are opened up and the data passes through. The conscious mind then attaches emotion to the thought based on its 'perceived' interpretation of this data. This increases the vibration of the thought and it is at this time that a belief is created and then stored in the subconscious mind.

    This belief may be based on truth, reality, or even a lie. It depends on where the thought came from and how it had been interpreted. It can then be accessed and utilized in the future by the conscious mind, to either support or deny any future thoughts that are inputted into the conscious mind.

    When the conscious mind receives this same input again, the subconscious mind will locate and provide the data which was stored previously and then send it back to the conscious mind with an emotion of some type, which was also stored previously with this data. This will create a vibration based on the frequency of the data presented. 

    This may result in the creation or manifestation of what that thought was intended to provide. 
    So keep in mind (-: if your thoughts are helpful and positive or not.
    Remember, the subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real or imagined. 
    It only responds to what is fed to it. 
    So for it to work correctly, you must be sure and clear of what you are feeding it, 
    if you really want to succeed at creating the life of your dreams....
    'Everything you can imagine is real'
    Pablo Picasso

    To all your dreams,

    Danielle x
    Your Mind Coach
    More on this here....

    Thursday, 15 November 2012

    Good decision, bad decision...gut decision...

    Sometimes we all struggle with making decisions, some big, some very small,but..... how do we come to make them?
    If you are struggling with a decision at the moment and feel like you are going around in circles, then maybe...                     not making a decision (at least for a while)
    is a good decision!

    In fact, you are probably already doing that, at least unconsciously, so how about you let up on yourself a little, give yourself a break and go back to it when you feel more clear headed.

    A good way to help with this clarity is to visualise.
    Simply take each of the considered scenarios, and visualise what it would be like if you chose that path.
    See how it feels and how you react to each one.
    Then, probably your 'gut' or 'instinct', will tell you which one to choose.
    This is generally the right choice for you.

    You see, if the problem is not a logical one, like say...'Will I put petrol in the car as its in the red, before I go on this long journey?' Well, you can probably deduct you will run out and the car will stall, so you clearly know the consequences.
    Not all decisions are this logical, so this is when turning it over and over, hoping for the 'correct' answer may never happen. Its down to your gut now... Trust it.

    One things for sure, if you don't make any decisions, you are never in control of what happens next and you may never move forward.
    The lost important part is that we actually really 'think'. Not fret, stress and worry, getting ourselves all in a muddle, but when we are ready, we really think.
    Sometimes the solution is logical and we will figure it out, sometimes its our gut and sometimes its a mixture of the two. I will leave you with this super little tale....

    'Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and cunning, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.

    So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
    He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
    a) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
    b) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
    c) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

    They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the money bag.
    The Moneylender, then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the money bag.

    Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. 
    What would you have done if you were the girl? 
    If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
    Careful thought would result in three possibilities:
    1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
    2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the money bag 
    and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
    3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father 
    from his debt and imprisonment.

    Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
    The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. 
    Think of the consequences if she chooses. What would you recommend to the girl to do?
    Well, here is what she did ...

    'The girl put her hand into the money bag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble strewn path, where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

    "Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the money bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."

    Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. 
    And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one!

    So remember, most problems DO have a solution. 
    We simply have to think to find it.

    To all your wonderful decisions,
    Danielle x


    Wednesday, 31 October 2012

    Are you Toxic?

                                     Are YOU Toxic???
    Your 'Thoughts' cause your 'Beliefs' and your beliefs cause your 'Actions'

    So.....if your unconscious thinks you cannot handle your fears, 
    it will then automatically activate the body’s sympathetic nervous system.
    How does it “know” you “cannot handle” your fears? 

    Well...our thoughts and beliefs are saying so, right?! TOXIC thoughts!
    This is a SUPER article on this here...

    If you want to discover a way to change those Toxic thoughts and get rid of those fears
    just contact me at
    Thanks for reading,
    Danielle Serpico
    (NLP Master Practitioner)
    For more FREE Advice on this click here